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   Apr 25

Il primo sentimento della vita: la fiducia

La fiducia è il primo sentimento della vita

La fiducia è un sentimento che si forma molto presto nella nostra vita. Già da neonati, ben prima che l’atto si compia, sentiamo chi è affidabile nel prenderci in braccio e chi non lo è. E’ la fiducia che ci permetterà di addormentarci serenamente soddisfatti, quando un abbraccio amorevole e caldo ci avvolge e ci farà sentire comodi e al sicuro. Se quell’abbraccio mancasse o fosse insicuro, fatto di movimenti bruschi o incerti, essendo in gioco la nostra incolumità, avremmo una sensazione assai spiacevole, di scomodità e insicurezza come di cadere. Già nei primi giorni di vita, attraverso l’olfatto ci arrivano gli odori.  La qualità dei feromoni presenti nell’aria, possono suggerirci lo stato emotivo di chi ci sta per accogliere. Se è sereno, preoccupato, spaventato, ansioso. Emozioni queste che modulano l’attivazione di Adrenalina notoriamente implicata nelle reazioni fight or flight la quale, di riflesso può influenzare a sua volta, il nostro atteggiamento e, in un certo senso, “suggerirci” come e se, saranno appagate le nostre richieste.

La fiducia è il primo sentimento della vita

Riconosceremo ben presto chi soddisferà quei bisogni e se egli avrà un atteggiamento sufficientemente coerente nel prendersi cura di noi. Lo cominceremo a separare dal “tutt’uno” di quella sorta di bolla senza confini fra interno ed esterno, corpo e ambiente che caratterizza i primi tempi della nostra vita.

Questo ci insegnerà non solo a dominare la naturale frustrazione dell’attesa ma a confidare nel ritorno di chi ci accudisce, durante le sue necessarie brevi assenze. Inizierà così a germogliare un sentimento di fiducia anche verso noi stessi. poiché noi cominceremo a sentirci sempre più capaci di avere un certo controllo nel richiedere ed  assicurarsi le cure necessarie alla sopravvivenza. 

La fiducia è il primo sentimento della vita

Nel tempo noi affineremo sempre più queste qualità in un “apprendistato emozionale” che ci renderà abili nel leggere i segnali che ci sono inviati dagli altri. A percepire, con straordinaria precisione, quell’energia positiva o negativa, fluente o frammentata, affidabile o inaffidabile emanata dal prossimo e modulare il nostro feedback. Ma se nell’infanzia chi si occupa di noi, avrà avuto un comportamento ambiguo, incoerente e discontinuo, o peggio, del tutto assente, favorirà in noi sentimenti di diffidenza, apprensione, perfino indifferenza, distacco e isolamento. Sentimenti, questi, che saranno vissuti continuamente e che si potranno amplificare o spegnersi con ripercussioni sostanziali in quelle relazioni significative ed intime che racchiudono l’idea di una completa apertura all’Altro.

Questo sembra spiegare le forti emozioni racchiuse nel processo della relazione. Quando la nostra fiducia è tradita, ci procurerà senso di disgregazione, lacerante dolore,  disgusto, perfino rabbia, perchè sarebbe stato tradito proprio “quell’affidarsi a” come succedeva agli inizi della nostra vita. Da adulti, questo, ci renderà estremamente vulnerabili nell’autostima, nelle aspettative, nell’autoefficacia, nelle nostre capacità e doti di giudizio. Alcune di queste istanze tenderanno ad articolarsi in quella che, in una coppia, si chiama “complicità” sebbene sarebbe più esatto chiamarla “confidenza” per le qualità di fiducia, intimità ed affiatamento che si stabiliscono in una relazione in primis amorosa, ma anche parentale o amicale.

La fiducia è il primo sentimento della vita

Se poi volessimo misurare il nostro grado di fiducia, potremmo riflettere su quelle situazioni dove noi non dormiamo da soli. Quando i segnali analogici (linguaggio del corpo) che insieme all’atteggiamento e alle parole della persona vicina, sono rassicuranti ed affidabili, allora ci permetteranno di lasciarsi andare in un sonno rilassato. Infatti l’assopirsi provocando la perdita di coscienza e di controllo, ci rende indifesi e vulnerabili e se proviamo diffidenza anche a livello inconscio, difficilmente il nostro sonno sarà sereno e ristoratore ma frammentato, agitato e perfino assente. 

E’ sempre la fiducia il sentimento primario che confida sulla tendenza attualizzante. Saranno la fiducia o la diffidenza a dare un certo colore emotivo ai nostri atteggiamenti in una visione più ottimistica e propositiva in caso di fiducia, o, al contrario, pessimistica e sfavorevole nella diffidenza, così da aver esiti assai diversi nelle esperienze della nostra intera esistenza. 

La fiducia il primo sentimento della vita

(by Admin)

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