“Non si può non comunicare perché dove non c’è comunicazione non esiste relazione.”
“Le parole comunicano, seducono, ingannano, feriscono, guariscono. Lo sguardo, il gesto, il linguaggio del corpo non mentono.”
“Il silenzio talvolta può uccidere se manifesta il peggiore fra i sentimenti: l’indifferenza.”
Si comunica soprattutto con il corpo. Ci dice molto più della parola e in modo ben più eloquente. I pensieri si mostrano nella gestualità, nel tono della voce, nella distanza o vicinanza degli interlocutori. Negli occhi che esprimono emozioni che scaturiscono dall’anima senza censure o chiedere il permesso d’essere manifestate.
La volontà può in qualche maniera modificare la “voce” del corpo, ma spesso tale rettifica risulta artificiosa. Si deve essere buoni attori per avere un certo controllo su alcune espressioni. Questo è valido se la comunicazione è fatta di presenza così che il destinatario potrà decodificare fra i segnali analogici che partono dal corpo del suo interlocutore. Quindi, dopo una sorta d’euristica subliminale, rilancerà a quest’ultimo ciò che per lui può essere una replica coerente al messaggio ricevuto.
Questo spiega a volte le incomprensioni che possono nascere tra individui di culture diverse se non si dispone di una specie di dizionario che aiuti a comprendere talune differenze. Per esempio il segno di “matto” può essere eseguito con la punta dell’indice contro la tempia, o muovendo di taglio la mano davanti agli occhi, o, ancora, con il pugno chiuso che batte sulla fronte. Mentre il segno “OK”, fatto con indice e pollice a formare una “O” per gli italiani e per gli americani significa tutto bene mentre lo stesso segno per i Giapponesi significa denaro, per i Francesi nullità e per i Greci è un insulto. Quando ci troviamo di fronte a una comunicazione digitale come può esserlo un discorso scritto, allora non potremmo disporre di questa sorta di intuito e scoprire per tempo eventuali menzogne.
Il linguaggio del corpo o comunicazione non verbale ha un peso di oltre l’80% nella relazione fra due o più interlocutori. Le parole rappresentano, quindi, solo una piccola parte della comunicazione. L’espressività corporea, alias la comunicazione analogica, vive quasi di una vita propria e si attiva quasi sempre al di fuori del controllo della coscienza.
La comunicazione analogica ha radici arcaiche e la sua validità è molto più estesa e generale perché non si basa sull’apprendimento di un codice, ma su una capacità espressiva congenita di una semantica ben precisa. Si dice “analogica” per via di quei segnali che contengono una qualche rappresentazione o immagine del significato come l’abbraccio protettivo di una madre.
La comunicazione verbale utilizza invece un codice digitale, per cui sono usati dei segni arbitrari o simboli convenzionali che si concretizzano nella parola scritta o orale. Anche nella comunicazione non verbale spesso c’è una certa convenzionalità e questo dipende dalla cultura d’appartenenza che modula i comportamenti dei suoi membri.
La comunicazione, quindi, non è un semplice trasferimento di dati ma è un processo circolare e continuo tra coloro i quali s’influenzano reciprocamente. E’ una sorta di cornice di senso che circonda la conversazione, sia che essa si svolga fra specie diverse come animali e uomo, in ambiti con utenti di universi multimediali virtuali o nella relazione fra terapeuta e cliente.
(Laura De Pasquale Psy Dr)
Riferimenti bibliografici:
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